BOOKS: The Commitment, Dan Savage (2005)

Dan and his boyfriend, Terry, are nearing their tenth anniversary as a couple, and have begun to consider the idea of getting married. Neither of them is terribly enthusiastic about it -- Terry doesn't want to copy straight people, and Dan is superstitious that it would jinx their relationship -- but Dan's mother keeps pushing the idea on them, and both Dan and Terry have to admit that the idea isn't entirely unappealing.

Savage's memoir of the year or so leading up to their tenth anniversary party is an exploration of the gay marriage issue. Savage presents the arguments for and against from within the gay community; his own stand is a common one -- while he may not want to get married himself, he beleives that the right to do so should be there for all people. As for those who oppose the idea entirely, Savage is particularly effective at ripping to shreds the hypocrisy of their arguments.

I have two minor qualms about the book. First, there's too much explicit talk about sex. I don't want to seem like a prude, and in general, I've no objections to appropriate sexual content at all. But it's gratuitous here, and there is just enough of it (and it's just explicit enough) that I would feel uncomfortable recommending the book to people who are a bit more conservative, even though I think they would generally enjoy the book very much.

Second, one of the challenges faced by any author who uses his own life as material is how to deal with the privacy rights of his friends and family, and I think that even more sensitivity is called for when children are involved. Savage's 6-year-old adopted son, D.J., is a principal character here, and there are moments that the older D.J. will wish had not been shared with the world.

Those qualms aside, The Commitment is written with great warmth and humor, and it's not a dull, somber political tract. It's light reading, but there's great substance and food for thought lying beneath the jokes.