MUSIC: iPod Personality Profile

It's the latest thing to sweep the blogosphere; I picked it up from Nathaniel R at Film Experience Blog.

Here's how it works: Set your iPod on shuffle, and hit play. The first 15 songs to come up -- no fair skipping over the embarassing ones -- will serve as answers to the following questions.

1. How does the world see you?
John Forster, "Tone Deaf" -- Well, not literally, certainly; I happen to be a reasonably good singer. But metaphorically, I suppose that's a fair assessment; I'm always a bit off in social settings. The good news is that the tone deaf misfit in this song winds up falling in love and raising a whole family of happy little misfits.

2. Will I have a happy life?
Bats, "Not My Girl Anymore" -- "She's not thinking about me and she's not losing her mind." Pretty standard love-gone-wrong song, but not a good omen for happiness.

3. What do my friends think of me?
The Flirts, "I Only Want to Be With You" -- They don't know what it is that makes them love me so. It's crazy, but it's true.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
The Archies, "Bang-Shang-A-Lang" -- Apparently. Just a glimpse of me from the corner of their eye-aye-aye makes their hearts go bang-shang-a-lang. Who knew?

5. How can I make myself happy?
Buck Owens, "You're For Me" -- "Don't tell me no; don't make me go," says Buck, so perhaps I should invite a few more of those secret lusters into my life.

6. What should I do with my life?
Roger Miller, "Chug-a-Lug" -- Drink. A lot.

7. Will I ever have children?
Tom Lehrer, "We Will All Go Together When We Go" -- Doesn't much matter, I guess, since we're all going to die in a cheerfully tuneful nuclear apocalypse.

8. What is some good advice for me?
Laurie Anderson, "Baby Doll" -- Laurie's bossy brain says: "Take me out to the ballgame / Take me out to the park / Take me to the movies / Cause I love to sit in the dark / Take me to Tahiti / Cause I love to be hot / Take me out on the town tonight / Cause I love the new hot spot," and "Why don't you get a real job?"

9. How will I be remembered?
Gordon Lightfoot, "Sundown" -- as a creepy, drunken, overly possessive husband, it seems. Something to look forward to. And I blame Roger Miller for the drunken part.

10. What's my signature dance song?
Erasure, "Chains of Love" -- I'm not much of a dancer, but yeah, I could probably move a little to this.

11. What's my current theme song?
Gladys Knight & the Pips, "I Don't Want to Do Wrong" -- Hard to argue with that as a philosophy of life. Of course, the whole point of the song is that Gladys is about to give in and do wrong anyway ("I just can't help myself," sing the Pips) because her man isn't giving her the lovin' she needs. Maybe if she'd been more creepy and overly possessive...

12. What do others think my current theme song is?
Blue Swede, "Hooked on a Feeling" -- Ooh, they don't know me very well, do they? I'm so non-emotional that I make Mr. Spock look like the embarassing drunk uncle who turns up at every wedding.

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Akon, "Lonely" -- Well, that's a sad thought. None of my secret lusters are going to work out in the long run, I guess.

14. What type of men do I like?
John Stey, "Fifteen Animals" -- I decline to comment on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me.

15. How's my love life?
The Saffrons, "Give Me Time" -- Chock full of painful dumping, leaving me so scarred that I don't even trust the nice boys ("I'm so afraid I'll wind up like I did before / I can't take it anymore").

And at this point, I'm supposed to tag some other blogger with the task of doing their own profile, but I hate dumping that kind of responsibility on people, so if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged. (I will say, though, that it would be interesting to see an iPod Personality Profile from my friend Maggie at What the Hell Am I Doing Here?)