TV: American Idol (men's semifinals, week 3)

It's a night of remarkable blandness from the men, and all it does is strengthen my growing sense that none of these guys is fit to carry the handbags of the top four women.

Let's work our way up from the bottom, shall we?

Kevin was better than we've ever heard him; he was generally in tune, and the song suited him reasonably well. But even at his very best, he's still horrible. Just look at how furrowed his brow is; that's tension, and you can hear it in his strangled tone and his excessive vibrato. As for showmanship, there are sand dunes with more charisma than Kevin. That was the only truly dreadful performance, but the rest of the show was a great sea of mediocrity.

Bucky can't control the raspiness that takes over his volume when he gets loud, and it destroys his enunciation; the chorus was entirely incomprehensible.

Will is pretty to look at, and "How Sweet It Is" would be a good match for his personality if only he had one. This was the most instantly forgettable performance of the night.

Ace sounds OK when he's down in his regular voice, but his falsetto is pinched and unattractive, and we have to endure a lot of it.

Elliott chose the wrong song, and sounded very tense. I like his voice, but this was a disappointing performance.

"Takin' It to the Streets" should have been a slamdunk for Taylor, but between the spastic dance moves and his apparent boredom, the song never found the energy it really needed.

There were only two good performances tonight, and neither of them was truly exciting. Gedeon did a nice job, though I'd have liked a lot more passion from him. I worry, though, after three straight weeks of old-school R&B, that Gedeon is going to struggle when the genre assignments begin.

Chris wasn't up to the level of last week's performance, but it was the best of the night. He's actually singing, instead of just screaming as so many rockers do, and he's very much in control of his voice.

Going into the finals, I'd put Chris and Gedeon out in front of the pack (and even they don't live up to the standards set by the top three or four women); Taylor, Elliott, and Ace in the next tier; and Will, Bucky, and poor pitiful Kevin bringing up the rear.

Kevin absolutely deserves to go home this week, and I think he will. The second ticket home should go to Bucky, but I won't be crushed if it's Will instead; my fear is that Elliott may get booted.